11,002 Things to Be Miserable About by Lia Romeo & Nick Romeo

Author:Lia Romeo & Nick Romeo
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: ABRAMS Books
Published: 2011-06-08T16:00:00+00:00

Birthdays

Cupcakes

Tchotchkes

High-rises

Mall parking lots

Immortal night

Vinyl siding

Vinyl pants

Noxious fumes

Bad grades

Flowered wallpaper

Nautical themes

Clowns

Overflowing trash cans

The post office the day before Mother’s Day

Cement

Ringworm

Graffiti

Dropping the soap

Dropping the soap in prison

Your tent collapsing

Lint

Leaky air mattresses

Leaky boats

Unraveling sweaters

Houseguests

Surprise parties

Bobblehead dolls

Tangled Christmas lights

Tangled webs

Icy sidewalks

Heredity

Dents

Piglets nursed by women

Bologna

People who swear around small children

Beer commercials that show debaucherous images followed by the words “drink responsibly”

Bleach stains

Big shots

Tentacles

Death grips

Manholes

Ragged breathing

Clogged exhaust vents

Practical jokes

Shysters

Stridency

Gag orders

Acrimonious discussions

Cars that talk

Being single at a wedding

Sugar in the salt shaker

Falsely labeled “organic” foods

Field trips from which your child never returns

Exploding diapers

Menus in an unreadable font

Children who are missing key immunizations

Food that’s hotter than you anticipated

Chewing ice cubes

Failed attempts to kill your pet

Failed attempts to kill your husband

American bistros and cafés that try to be European

Child molesters in pools

Overly protective fathers

Being tied to a rock and thrown into a lake

Accidentally killing your mom

Killing your mom on purpose

Sorceresses who turn men into swine

Children exposed to radon

Blues singers with correct grammar

Real estate scams

Rooms in which each wall is a different color

When your doctor is dying

Horrific trampoline accidents

Tinsel

Obnoxious children in romantic restaurants

The chain falling off your bike

Dogs with trust funds

Graphic doodles in notebooks

Pictures of kissing celebrities

Quadruple chins

Men in lingerie

Barbeque fatalities

Eating Jell-O with a straw

Mistaking dog food for cereal

Fatal skiing accidents

Sex tips from your teenager

Christmas trees that catch fire

People who speak loudly to foreigners

The bottom line

Athletes turned actors

Athletes turned rapists

Disappointing garage sale revenues

Alliterative gas station names

Failed fabulists

Street food in Mexico City

Shingles

Lightning storms while hiking on mountains

Gentle names for horrific hurricanes

People who harmonize outside of college a cappella concerts

Meals that take weeks to digest

Wellness

Bankers who call themselves “quants”

Chain-smoking middle schoolers

Clothes designed by rappers

Having a muscular man’s cigarette extinguished on your neck

Verbally abused caddies

Physically abused caddies

Being transferred to Tulsa

Inappropriate obsessions with tofu

Exported holidays

Satan’s minions

Children named adverbs

Companies that boast about their corporate culture

Being kidnapped and subsequently beheaded

Flow charts

Brush fires

Earls fallen from royal favor

Living in the garage

Acronyms whose meaning has been forgotten

Astroturf lawns

People who create their own shade

Being on a bad youth soccer team

Girls named Michael

Wife swapping

Nocturnal emissions

Witches that sink

Children whose role models are cartoon animals

Urine-stained bathroom floors

Layovers on red-eye flights

Fat men who aren’t jolly

Compulsive hair touching

Overhearing your parents discussing how disappointing you are

Legion forces of darkness

Self-described “ass men”

Forgetful pharmacists

Garish wallpaper

Breaking in new shoes

Defiled church clothes

Models’ pouts

Similes involving clouds

Commercials for things that can kill you

Blood sloshing in boots

Broken fire escapes

Dressing your husband

Mixing up your grandchildren’s names

Droughts during harvest

Evacuated bowels

Children visiting their incarcerated parents

The vertically challenged

The phrase “vertically challenged”

Graffiti on flawless stone statues

Hunting near hiking trails

Breached city walls

Men without necks

The phrase “You go, girl!”

Hitler trivia

Cereal boxes with stories on them

Coughing to avoid conversation

Dog models

Hitchhiking fugitives

Sentence-long chapters

People who cry during the national anthem

Toddlers addressed as “master” by their servants

Forgotten pogroms

Unsuccessful urban rejuvenation projects

Confusing repression with restraint

Hit-and-runs with shopping carts

Being kicked by someone wearing cleats

Little boys who say “yo”

Anecdotes ruined by poor comic timing

Arcane garbage removal laws

Tans that later kill you

Kids who are smaller than their backpacks

Minor characters in lesser novels

Work personas

Mexican restaurant names involving “loco”

Waiters who call themselves servers

Mandatory corporate nametags

Laws against sodomy

Dying of heat

Stepping on crippled birds

Extinct gods

Being unable to afford the funeral

Chronic pain that

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.